Independent Fundamental Logic?

I am right and you are wrong. Always.

Unity means agreeing with me that my pastor is right.

If you cannot win an argument with logic you must simply outlast your opponent. Once he gives up, declare victory.

A man is to be as much of a leader of his own house as his pastor will let him be.

Thou shalt not speak out against other fundamentalists on any subject that really matters.

Keep disputes as trivial as possible lest you risk having your own dirty laundry exposed.

We believe in individual soul liberty, although we’ve never seen a good reason for anybody to actually use it.

When a pastor gets caught doing wrong, his job is to deny, deny, deny. Your job is to back him up to the bitter end.

In a business meeting, all in favor of the pastor’s motion shall signify by saying “aye.” All opposed shall shut up if they know what’s good for them.

Anything that annoys the pastor, annoys God too.

If you can’t find a Scripture verse that proves your point, substitute a quote from another fundamentalist instead, it’s practically just as good.

Bad things that happen to me and mine are persecution and attacks of Satan. Bad things that happen to you and yours are God’s judgment for your sinful ways.

Always assume your fellow fundamentalists have the best possible motives for their actions. Always assume that everyone else has the worst possible motives for theirs.